Treat yourself with the same care and kindness you offer others from "summary" of The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion by Christopher K. Germer
Imagine a close friend comes to you upset, seeking comfort and support. You listen attentively, offer words of encouragement, and express empathy for their pain. You might even give them a hug or make them a cup of tea, showing them kindness and compassion in their time of need. You do all this without judgment, without criticism, simply with a desire to help them feel better.
Now, imagine you are the one feeling upset, seeking comfort and support. Do you treat yourself with the same care and kindness you offered your friend? Or do you find yourself being self-critical, judgmental, and harsh? Many of us tend to be much harder on ourselves than we would ever be on a friend. We hold ourselves to impossibly high standards, expecting perfection and berating ourselves when we fall short.
But what if we were to treat ourselves with the same care and kindness we offer others? What if we were to extend the same compassion and empathy to ourselves that we readily give to friends and loved ones? This concept lies at the heart of self-compassion - the practice of treating ourselves with the same kindness, care, and understanding that we would offer to a good friend.
Self-compassion involves becoming aware of our own suffering and responding to it with kindness and understanding. It means acknowledging our pain and struggles without judgment, recognizing that imperfection is a part of the human experience. Self-compassion is not about letting ourselves off the hook or making excuses for our mistakes. It is about approaching ourselves with a sense of common humanity, recognizing that we are not alone in our struggles.
When we practice self-compassion, we are able to soothe ourselves in times of distress, offering ourselves the same comfort and support we would offer a friend. We become our own best ally, our own source of strength and resilience. Self-compassion allows us to be kind to ourselves in moments of difficulty, to treat ourselves with the same care and kindness we offer others.
So the next time you find yourself in need of comfort and support, remember to treat yourself with the same care and kindness you would offer a friend. Practice self-compassion with mindfulness and awareness, recognizing that you deserve the same love and understanding that you readily give to others. Be gentle with yourself, be kind to yourself, and remember that you are worthy of compassion and care.
