People want to be heard from "summary" of The Lost Art of Listening by Michael P. Nichols
When we listen to others, we often assume that they want our advice, our guidance, or our solutions. We believe that by offering our own opinions and perspectives, we are being helpful and supportive. However, what many of us fail to realize is that what people truly desire, above all else, is simply to be heard. They want to feel understood, validated, and acknowledged. They want to know that their thoughts, feelings, and experiences are being taken seriously and are being given the attention they deserve.
When we listen with the intention of providing solutions or advice, we may inadvertently send the message that we do not believe the other person is capable of handling their own problems. This can be disempowering and can create feelings of resentment and frustration. On the other hand, when we listen with the sole purpose of truly understanding the other person, we are able to create a safe space for them to express themselves freely and openly.
By practicing active listening, we can show others that we value their thoughts and feelings. We can demonstrate our empathy and compassion by reflecting back what we hear, asking clarifying questions, and expressing genuine curiosity. This not only helps the other person feel heard and understood, but it also allows us to deepen our connection with them and strengthen our relationship.
When we prioritize the act of listening over the urge to fix or solve, we can foster a sense of trust and mutual respect. We can create an environment where individuals feel comfortable sharing their innermost thoughts and emotions without fear of judgment or criticism. In doing so, we can cultivate deeper, more meaningful connections with the people in our lives and enrich our own understanding of the world around us.
