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Comparing oneself to others can affect happiness from "summary" of Happiness by Daniel Nettle
The human mind has a peculiar tendency to constantly measure itself against others. We look at our peers, our colleagues, even strangers on the street, and we gauge our own success and happiness based on how we perceive them to be doing. This relentless comparison game can have a profound impact on our well-being. When we feel that we are falling short compared to others, it can lead to feelings of inadequacy and dissatisfaction. We may start to question our own worth and accomplishments, leading to a downward spiral of self-doubt and unhappiness. On the flip side, if we believe ourselves to be doing better than those around us, it can inflate our egos and give us a temporary boost in confidence. However, this kind of happiness is often short-lived and shallow. It is based on external validation rather than internal contentment. Additionally, constantly measuring ourselves against others can create a sense of competition and envy that is detrimental to our overall well-being. We may become consumed by feelings of jealousy and resentment towards those we perceive as being more successful or happier than us. Moreover, the comparisons we make are often based on incomplete information. We only see a small fraction of other people's lives, usually the highlight reel they choose to display. We are not privy to their struggles, their insecurities, or their failures. By comparing ourselves to this idealized version of others, we are setting ourselves up for an unfair and unrealistic standard. This can lead to a distorted perception of reality and a constant feeling of inadequacy. In the end, this incessant comparison only serves to erode our own happiness and well-being.- From accepting ourselves for who we are and finding contentment in our own unique journey. When we focus on our own values, goals, and aspirations, rather than constantly looking over our shoulder at what others are doing, we can cultivate a sense of fulfillment that is authentic and lasting. Ultimately, the key to happiness lies in embracing our own individuality and finding joy in the present moment, rather than constantly chasing after an unattainable standard set by others.
